I found out at 20 weeks pregnant my son has Left Hypoplastic Heart Syndrome along with another heart defect. They said the 2nd defect which is vsd is actually helping the left hypo but when he is born can be a problem. The day i found out i cried my eyes out. They talked to me a few times about termination but i am not okay with that at all. Id rather have him and go thru the surgerys and if something happens where he is taken home at least i know I tried everything i possibly could. Our pediatric cardiologist at the appointment before last said he had seen 2 vessals in the heart which was a good thing but then the next time we went the baby was uncooperative and he did not see it again. I told my obs about what the cardiologist said and she said if he said he seen hes "smoking". That really bothered me and it seems when i think things are looking up a little bit and we get a little good news they find a way to knock it right back down. We have our next appointment with the cardiologist this tuesday coming up 1/11/10 I am hoping he sees a little more.
I have a lot of support but it is very hard. I want to be at the hospital as much as possible and i want to bring my other son if they will let me as much as possible. My fiancee works alot so my son is used to being around me and I dont want him to feel left out hes so young he wont understand why moms not around. I think so far through out the whole thing ive been ok but now its gettng closer to time im getting more and more scared and i know finding out is just the beggining. I dont know what to expect at the hospital they havent told me if I will be able to hold him at all or if they are taking him immeditly which im sure they are. Ive never been that much of a religous person but ive been praying so much everyday lately. I pray everynight for my son i really hope he is meant to be here with me because i dont think im strong enough to plan a funeral for any of my kids. He seems to be a strong little boy inside me and im keeping the faith that he will be when he comes out too
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